Thursday, December 29, 2011


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Wednesday, December 7, 2011


           It is three in the morning and it is happening again.  I am waking up from a dead sleep and gasping for breath, but this time it is combined with a nightmare that I am suffocating and it makes it all the more frightening.  It’s the 3rd night in a row now and I am scared to fall asleep, and even more scared that this whole thing is going to come to an end before it starts.  After 30 minutes, I try again but then panic - my mouth wide open grasping for air. 

Where am I and what am I doing here?  I am in the Himalayas of Northern India at 12,000 feet and I am following a rare group of ultra running trailblazers at the 2nd running of the highest altitude ultra in the world, and have been acclimatizing to the altitude now for three days. 
It has been a year ago since I followed up on an email telling of an ultra running doctor out of New Delhi who was creating a new race that included running the two highest motorable passes in the world.  I called him up and he started by telling me of how he thought up the idea.  It was a day-run up to a place called, Rohtang La (the pass of piled corpses).  The goal was just to have fun running with friends up to 13,000 feet.  An elevation challenge for an ultra runner bound to his homeland, India, for work.  But the run was cut short by a landslide and they found themselves in a warm café drinking tea and staring into the wave like road map of the Manali-Leh highway, wondering what if.
It wasn’t apparent to me at the time I was hearing this, but the idea of running at these altitudes seems insane.  The first time at 18,300 feet, the body doesn’t respond all that great and the pulse-ox meter that one runner is testing tell’s us so.  The heart rate is at 112 beats of the normal 60 and the bodies O2 is down to 76% of its norm of 98%.  But the body does change.  Red blood cell building and O2 adapting, slowly the lungs make better use of the oxygen and as the days pass, we are all starting to see our heart rates drop and blood O2 levels go up, and this is a good thing.  It means I am not going to get on that plane and fly home. It means I am going to see the starting line after all.
After Rohtang La, Rajat returned home to his family and found himself struggling to think of anything other than this map of the Himalayas.  His mind started to crunch the numbers and his fingers started to punch up the details and in 9-months time he had constructed a race crossing 137-miles (222km) covering the passes of Khardung La (18,300ft) and Tanglang La (17,583ft) before finishing in the Morey Plains at 15,000 feet.  Now all that was left was finding runners to run it. 
Sifting through the ultra running pool, he found 30-runners to say yes, but as time would have it that number trickle down to one - Molly Sheridan - and now that one was standing in front of me at the second running of The High, to complete what she hadn’t in the first.  Next to her, pacing like race horses were Ray Sanchez (USA), Lisa Tamati (NZ), Samantha Gash (AU), Jason Rita (AU), and Sharon Gayter (UK).  And so while I sat backwards filming on my motorcycle, they were waiting to take on this challenge before it took them.
The run to Khardung La isn’t all that bad.  Once your body has acclimatized to the altitude it is pretty good at taking on the first 26 miles.  By the time the runners get to the peak each of them are still moving at a pretty good pace and looking at a long 26-mile downhill into Leh before plaining off for a 45-mile stretch through the high desert of the Leh valley.  But the comforts of this flat land can turn dark, the continuous hours of low level O2 can sneak up on you leaving you with exhaustion, dehydration, cramps, and worse.  It is something to be aware of and it was this element that crept up on the runners in that first year’s event and almost ended the entire race before it began.
Rajat’s thirty runners had turned to one and that one runner, Molly, helped turn it into three.  By race day of 2010, Rajat was poised at the starting line doing the countdown and with a click of a second those faithful three were off and carrying with them the unknown question of if this race could even be done. 
MOLLY AT KHARDUNG LA (18,300ft), 2010
Months before this moment Rajat had worked to do his math.  He was a doctor after all and it wouldn’t look good for a doctor to have dead runners on his hands.  So he visited the Special Forces branch of the Indian Military to gather information on how to prepare the body for the high altitude.  Standing square in the office of some of the highest officials in the land there was dead silence as the officers listened to his race idea before looking him in the eye and stating, “Are you mad!  No one can do this…it is impossible”.  Words to live by one might think, but not Rajat.  Not the man who grew up in a home where the word “NO” to his running interest was all too common a theme.  A theme that left him seeking the vary outlet of this race today.  And so he set off to make this race bullet proof and prove to the military, his country, and the ultra world that this run could and would be done.  But now 24-hours into his own race, two of his runners were in the ICU with one getting evacuated for further emergency care.
 It was Molly who went first to the ICU.  She had gone too long without water coming down Khardung La and needed an IV to recover.  Bill Andrews came second and shortly after with problems that required an immediate flight out.  And so there was only one - Mark Cockbain - and the questions again arose of if this race was even possible.
Why do you do it?  That was the question I used to ask.  Why do you run these distances?  I was only just learning about this sport and the answer for them was simple, “because we can”.  However short, it was true we can.  Humans can endure amazing things and in that endurance we can discover something about ourselves that we never knew.  Following Molly and the others in that second race, I was uncovering something new about myself.  While working to keep up with the front-runners, Ray and Sharon, I was learning just how hard this stuff really was. And while the runners were going on 24-hours, I was doing all I could to keep up and discover my limits of staying awake in the process.
By this time, Rumpse was the town on every ones mind. It is the last cut off point before the finish and the place to rest before the final push up Tanglang La.  Either you make it here before 42-hours or it is over.  Resting with my camera in lap, in front of me was Ray Sanchez.  Ray was on a record setting pace, but it was not time to relax.  Sharon was still close and he knew in his mind he needed to keep going. So before I could snap a shot, he was off to Tanglang La and on with the race.
Watching him run off I knew something he didn’t.  I knew there was a certain level of confidence he enjoyed knowing that this race had been done before.  For him he didn’t have to think if this was possible, he knew it could be done, and so now he could focus on doing it faster and better.  But Mark was not so lucky and for him this race was still undetermined and now he was up there all alone in the ultra world with hypothermia starting to set in and the peak was still hours off the question still loomed if it could be done.
Rajat raced from the hospital with Bill and Molly to the front to check-up on Mark.  After miles on dirt roads, he found Mark hungry, tired, and suffering from signs of high altitude sickness.  Assessing the situation, Rajat had set in his mind that if Mark doesn’t start to improve in the next 20 minutes he is pulling him from the course.  Mark however had a different thought, being experienced in ultra running he had no intention of stopping until he was either at the finish line or unconscious trying.  And so the two fueled on, Rajat to his side and Mark walking closely to the edge.
I thought about myself for a moment when I first met Mark in the UK for an interview.  Would I have been willing to drive towards that finish line all alone?  There was no glory in this.  There were no competitors to go up against.  There was only the long dirt road ahead and an empty finish line.  And the answer is I don't know.  For Mark however, none of that really mattered all that mattered was that he was only a few steps from crossing over the top of Tanglang La and needed to go down.
Watching Mark cross over the top, Rajat hopped back in his car to finalize plans with Molly and Bill.  Arriving at the hospital in Leh, Bill was in bad condition and Molly was by his side.  Assessing that more proper medical care was in order they booked tickets and hopped on a plane home.  Leaving the ground it became clear for them both that the race was over, but not finished. 
Standing at that finish line one year later, surrounded by cars, ambulance, crews, and a banner, the excitement of the 2nd years finish is in the air.  Walkie-talkie updates are coming in and it isn’t certain who will arrive first.  In that last 14-hours and around 17,000 feet, Sharon Gayter over-took Ray Sanchez and has been fighting to keep the lead ever since.  Watching with excitement you could vocally hear her panting as she turned the final 100-yards towards the finish.  Pushing herself to her limits, her lungs were screaming for air as she crossed the finish line and collapsed into the hands of the medics.  The crew was in a roar, the first runner had officially made it, but there was more to come and others still out there.
Seeing Molly and Bill off on the plane, Rajat now was driving back to find Mark with a million thoughts on his mind.  Did they make it?  Are they safe?  Do we have a race or is this a lost cause?  But the answer wasn’t easy.  After leaving them at Tanglang La the night before, Mark and his crew made a fatal mistake.  Tired and exhausted from all they had done and suffocating from a lack of O2, they pulled the car off the road and with Mark inside each fell asleep. 
I imagine Mark’s last dream up there was similar to mine during acclimatization.  Laying there in the back of that truck suffocating and hypoxic, he snapped out of that slumber and rocked forward with one thought in mind, “We have to get out of here and start moving or we are just going to lay here and die”.  First with the right foot and then with the left, Mark was moving again and one at a time he was on his way down to lower ground and the finish.
It was daylight now and Rajat was headed to the rendezvous point of Whiskey Junction.  He had checked the finish line first to see it empty with out sign of Mark or crew.  Now he was searching for them in the last place they could be.  Pulling into the rest area he looked around quickly and found them down by the river bathing their feet.  Grabbing his breath and looking more closely, he could see they were smiling.  It wasn’t much, but it was enough and with that it had become apparent they had finished the race and it was done.  The impossible had become possible and it was time to go home and celebrate.
Sitting here at the finish and rethinking through the 2010 race, I am now starting to wonder where Molly is.  Listening to the radio I heard that she didn’t make the cut off at Rumptse and I don’t know where she is now, but I do know one thing it’s that I really hope she makes it.  It isn’t because she didn’t finish the first race last year or that I want to see a comeback story come true.  It’s because Molly is that person who gives you that little push in life.  The push we all need to get our dreams going towards true and now I want to see her get that push so that hers come true too. 
As seconds turned to minutes and the clock stuck down to under one hour, we saw that last runner coming around the final turn and it was her.  Out in front of me holding the finish line banner and waiting for her arrival was Rajat and most likely he was thinking about all that it took to get them here.  The dream of doing it, the work to make it, and the moment when Molly said, she would stay by his side, was surely what he carried out to meet her at the finish.  Watching her cross the finish I knew it was complete, it was finished for her and him as well.  Standing there in front of my camera was a pair of people - one who dreamt the impossible and one who believed it could be done.
The remarkable story of making the first LA ULTRA THE HIGH is currently in the process of being made into a documentary film called, THE HIGH: BACKTRACK THE IMPOSSIBLE.  You can learn more about, support, and follow along at: or on facebook at: THE HIGH DOCUMENTARY ON FB

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, February 13, 2011


On this podcast edition of DOC THIS, I sit down with Mark Achbar and talk about his film, The Corporation.  Over the 20-minute long interview, we had the opportunity to cover the birth of the idea for the film, fund raising, interviewing, and reflections on its success post its 2003 release. 


 Writing reviews on documentaries is mildly benign.  Offering perspective into the message a film already portrays is somewhat narcissistic.  And feeling like you may open the eyes of the viewer, if the filmmaker hasn’t already, is clearly misguided.  But it is with this awareness in mind that I continue on with reviews, and more specifically this one, in the hopes that some will recognize what others have not.

The Corporation is not a film designed to entertain you or put you on the side of your seat.  It is not a film that dances quickly through information for the ‘attention impaired’.  And it is not a film that offers small morsels of bite-sized chewables to spit out at the water cooler during work.  Instead it is a film of facts and analysis.  It is a film that speaks more of problems to come, then to those that are here.  And it is a film that begs of ‘untethered capitalists’ to realize that being the best at what you do can be as good as it is bad.

Outlining corporations as a psychopathic, self-obsessed, disconnected, brainwashing money-monger, who are defined under legal terms as 'a person' and are given all the rights that comes with being one.  Canadian director Mark Achbar, Jennifer Abbott, Joel Baken and crew have sifted through the some 150-years of history since corporations starting cutting their teeth on American legislation to become what they are today.  Tackling the corporation’s legal definition as ‘person’.   Achbar and his crew work masterfully to turn the vary centerpiece of its power against it and bring awareness to just how dangerous this legal terminology is.

Placing this “person” into the seat of the physiologist.  The film then systematically checks off each category that would define a “real person”, as unhealthy and not fit for society.  Having earmarked every weakness and flaw that the modern corporation on-goingly exploits today and further classifying it as physiologically unfit.  The 145-minute piece makes it blatantly clear that if left unchecked, the unleashed corporation will become, is becoming, and in many cases already has become, the monster that swallowed up the sea.

But the big question that looms throughout a film, which offers such clear-cut analysis of the problems we are facing is this, “what does any of that have to do with me”?  It is a question danced upon in the effects of the system on the individual, but not in the actions of the individual on the system.  And it is a question with which one can only find the answer from within ones self.  Because no matter how blatantly aware we become of the facts that tell us of the dangers of corporations like Walmart, McDonald’s, Nike and the like.   Nothing can replace the fact that they make our lives easier and lull us into a sense of comfort.  And while they may manipulate our laws, exploit our world’s labor, and brainwash our children as coins of the future.  They are still a part of a system that we do not see as needing be fixed, and that maybe just the way they would prefer it to stay.


If you get a moment to do it, rent a copy for your own perspective and let me know when you do.

~Thanks for reading  



Thursday, January 6, 2011


There are times in life when you come across a film that is neither great in whole nor dynamic in structure, but when it is finished it leaves you walking away feeling changed and wanting for more while still trying to digest that which you have seen.  The film, Mindscape of Alan Moore is just such a film.  Hidden behind a mass of hair and beard,  mysteriously wearing Goth style rings, a cut off T-shirt, and flipping magical cards Alan looks a little of Charles Manson with a soft side.  He is the type of character that would tend to send those with a weaker stomach off course from the start, but if you are able to see past the distraction of appearance and resist the temptation to run, while still holding guard to your best known wisdoms, you will end up walking away from this film and this mans perspective on life with a few morsels of chewable information that can offer an interesting perspective into the human condition and creative ways to see outside of the box.

Opening with Alan Moore facing camera and narrating his own life’s history.  He moves quickly to show his manipulation of language by using a simple word like “trafficking”, a term usually associated with illegal activity of some sort or another, to refer to his writing style in fiction, “I traffic in fiction…I don’t not traffic in lies...”.  This behavior, while distracting, works to color this character from the start offering a quick insight into the “case study” of the man that follows.  Turning quickly to his early childhood, the film starts out going into the younger years of Alan Moore, a now famous American and International comic book author.  Sharing in what seems nearly one take your deepest childhood insights and errors.  While sitting in front of a camera with lights a blare and crew around is not easy to do without twitching, coughing, or grasping for a breath.  But the calm with which Alan Moore rolls though both failure and defeat only serves to draw me closer to what this character has to say and better explains the man I am looking at today. 

Dropping out of society and lost in the bottom of the work world cleaning toilets and working with animal carcasses.  He makes a blind leap into the world of comic book writing or rather what he calls, “a shot in the dark…to be an author”.  In doing so he learns and passes on one of life’s great truths, “To make such a leap you have to put aside the fear of failing and the desire of succeeding…You have to do these things purely, because the things we do without lust of result are the purist actions we can take.”  This line struck me as odd coming from a man that by appearance I would have assumed other wise and I started to tune in for more of what he had to offer.

Passing through a scrim of personal history, Alan begins to open up about his work for DC comics, The Swamp Thing.  He calls the move to America the “brain-drain”.  However his feelings on Fascism in America and the general misuse of authorship are communicated in tongues.  And while he doesn’t uncover these concepts completely, he seems to have channeled the deeper message into his first and more famous piece of writing called, Watchmen (which now has been made into a movie).  Here again Alan opens up to simplify some more difficultly understood concepts on fame, which had begun to creep up on him from his works in the US.  In doing so he does a good job of making the topic enlightening and tangible with simplified views of its dangers and pitfalls.  The most impressive element of his realizations on fame and life in general however, is his choice to live out what he believes and he does so in this case by returning back to his roots in Northampton, England and starting a new chapter of his life.

In turning 40 Alan decided to call himself a magician.  And it is here in the film, and possibly in his own life, that Alan begins to drift from concrete terms and manipulate logic and history, in an artistic and somewhat dangerous way, to better make sense of his life and its surroundings.  It’s a moment where when watching one might get lost, confused, or conflicted.  But it is also a moment where one can see the mental shoes of a very intelligent man come unlaced and allow for an insightful breakdown to the meta-physical (thought) structures of society.

Aligning writers with Sharman’s of old and seeing them in the modern day as prostitutes striped of their credentials.  He highlights the power of the written word and how it is horrifically misused today.  However among these interesting and enchanting insights he tends to drift between factual points and creative ideals as if they were the same.  A skill no doubt he has needed to hone from authoring great fiction for so long.  It is here that Alan’s insights are both interesting and dangerous.  And it is advisable when listening to hold an air of caution in the wind.

All in all, Alan takes you to places in the mind that are locked with a key and offers to open them up with the twists and definitions of his own.  His seduction of knowledge and manipulation of thought is an area of both enlightenment and concern.  Over the 78-minutes of dialog, he uses his slow-pace seductive voice to work away at nearly every major facet of life.  Highlighting the limitations and boundaries of the mind, defining how each man, women, and child makes sense of their surroundings, attacking the misconstrued concepts of sex and war, inviting one to join in the idea of “creative (mind) space”, and finally offering insights into the mixing pot of information from the booming growth of technology and invention that is sculpting our future today.  He seems not to miss a beat.  And in the final moments of the film, he offers some of the more dynamic and creative concepts that I have heard of to date.

In closing, if you can put aside the at times intimidating and strange visuals.  Set aside your inhabitations with the social and physical appearances of the subject.  And take the time to ingest and breakdown some of the thoughts of the man who is speaking.  You will find this film to be very stimulating in mind and creative in perspective.  And in the end, you may walk away better understanding a type of character and a life perspective that is most likely far different than your own.

 Thanks for reading.